Welcome Ladies

Whether Christian dating online or off everyone has their own unique shopping list of preferences that they are looking for in a companion. The criteria are almost boundless. Men may be looking for a demure woman or a woman with a good sense of humor or brown hair. Most of these traits are things which we cannot control such as eye color, height etc. Women will not be able to appeal to all of the men all of the time, but you can appeal to many of the men much of the time!

You probably know someone who was looking for a certain type, but finally settled down with someone who supposedly was not his or her cup of tea in the beginning, right? The fact is that we all make concessions on our shopping lists. Most traits are negotiable, they are secondary, but some traits are not negotiable and are universal among men seeking a mate. These universal qualities are so crucial that they override all other traits on a man’s shopping list. Men do not know what it is intellectually that they need, but they do know intuitively. These universal traits are powerful!

Do you recall the cons who steal women’s hearts? (Sort of like the fellow below) They have mastered the art of projecting these universal traits which women need but are not cognizant of. Hopefully you will be dealing with Christian singles and not cons, but wolves do sometimes come in sheep’s clothing. We’ll be covering what exactly to watch for to spot a con later.

YOU CAN BE THEIR CUP OF TEA!

Your mate may not have gotten what he thought he wanted on his shopping list when he chose you. But because you appealed to his deepest needs he will not regret his decision in choosing you instead of the blonde or redhead.

Do you recall reading the following old proverb before you clicked on to the Christian dating 101 women’s section?

“A man’s strength is his charm ,just as a woman’s charm is her strength.”- Havelock Ellis

A woman’s charm (or virtue) is her strength. Think on this statement just a moment, this is your first clue to the first of the five universal traits which a man intuitively seeks out in a mate. Gold diggers project this trait and many men fall for it because unfortunately in today’s culture charm (or grace) has been redefined by many to mean false beauty. This is to stand the truth on it’s head.

“Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Charm can only come from within, it does not come from beauty or wit or even fine clothing. It’s fruits are goodness, humility, kindness, and wisdom. I don’t want to ruin anyone’s book sales on ten reasons why honesty and humility are passé in these modern times, but they are crucial in areas of romance and relationships. If you think that it does not take a strong woman to practice these then you probably have never tried them on for size.

All men whether going through a Christian singles service such as this or not are looking for virtue in their mate. Therein lies loyalty. Ladies if you falter on any area of virtue they will intuitively question your loyalty to them and the family. They need to feel secure in their relationship, they need assurance to build upon. Men don’t sit around and figure these things out like I just outlined; they know these things in their gut, they may not be emotional beings, but they know. Christian singles I hope you are beginning to catch my drift that men and women understand each other very well, we need to acknowledge that fact.

TOWARD A MORE PERFECT UNDERSTANDING

Most men were raised by women and nurtured by them. To say that men don’t understand women is not precise - they understand their mothers perfectly and would have little problem understanding a woman from fifty or a hundred years ago.

They do not understand today’s woman who has been altered by feminism which is not feminine. Have you ever noticed that when you add -ism to a root word such as intellectual the meaning becomes the opposite, or an oxymoron? How about commune? By adding -ism we get communism where the overwhelming power of the government is centralized at the top and not at the community level. This is a subject outside of our scope, our mission as a Christian singles service is to help future loved ones connect. Let us resume.

Today’s men have been altered (as have the women) by political correctness, changing social expectations and morals, as a result we experience difficulties between the sexes. Today it is desirable (at least in the media) to be a watered down, and superficial metro sexual. The retro sexual who has strongly held beliefs on such vulgar issues as right and wrong is an object of scorn and ridicule by our self-acclaimed, sniveling social engineers. Ahead we will be back - engineering in order to deprogram and get back on a healthy and Biblical mental footing.

(It would seem that both of these fellows below could use  Christian dating 101.)

Metro-sexual

Retro-sexual

The unisex movement, women’s empowerment, and modern psychology have conspired to push the romantic humpty-dumpty off the wall and it’s been a great fall. Compare the divorce rate of today to any other generation in the history of civilization. It’s no longer men and women, but men vs. women, with songs like Love is a Battlefield, and shows like Battle of the Sexes sadly proving my point. We were not created to compete, but to compliment. Competition will bring resentment, suspicion, anxiety, and anger. All destructive. We must be lay down our arms, and get back on the same team.

A POWERFUL KEY TO LONG LASTING LOVE

Ladies have you noticed that as a rule men don’t usually stick around long with a woman who goes to bed with him very early in the relationship? They know that that woman does not possess the virtue towards him that he needs. When selecting a lifelong mate , men are looking for the five universal traits. These traits trump all others on their wish list.

Let us be clear on the definition of virtue - In the broad sense it is “an admirable quality” The virtues a man is looking for in a partner are again; goodness, humility, kindness, and wisdom. There are more, but these are the facets which men appraise most in a woman. Virtue has long been a cherished quality in a woman. In Proverbs 31: 10,11 We read “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…”

Christian single ladies do not underestimate the power of these facets of virtue to give you a genuine allure with men.

Christian singles - Virtues are elusive in that once you think you have them you loose them. Example: If you proclaim yourself to be wise you have become a fool. And, If you think yourself humble then you are not. Or perhaps you think yourself good, better than others, you have become vain and that’s no good. Lastly if you have to make a big effort to be kind then it is not real.

“What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?”- Rousseau

A man is not seeking a contender to challenge his every step, but a best friend with whom he can share happiness. Proverbs 21: 19 “ It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman.” Virtue will prevent you from being the woman in the proverb above.

“Virtue: that low sweet root from which all heavenly virtues shoot.” -Thomas Moore

Whether you connect with a suitor in a Christian singles dating service forum or not these virtues will advertise themselves, and no man who knows you for any length of time will miss it. They will take note.

LET ROMANCE FLOURISH

Have you noticed that men often complain that they just don’t understand women? And, have you ever noticed that they never complain that they don’t understand their mothers? What can be the reason? Men were raised by women who were not usually feminists therefore they have a more classical understanding of women. Herein lies the conflict. Men understand the classical woman and therefore their mothers, but they are confused by the new woman of today. Show him your classical side and romance will be second nature to him. No man forgets Mother’s day, with the flowers, cards etc. which is a form of romance. Inspire that in him and he will respond.

At this point let us rejoin the men for the rest of this powerful lesson - Christian dating 101. We will meet together again later to learn the other four universal traits that men need. Now, let’s see what they are doing.

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