Dreams - The engines of love and success

Dear Christian singles, let me begin by asking you one of the most important questions which may be asked in life. What is your wish? Or perhaps the more proper question would be what are your wishes. This will prove to be an object of the greatest interest and import. These principles apply not just to Christian dating but secular as well, please read on.

To some this may appear at first to be a bit old hat, but let’s see if we can pull out a few lively rabbits anyhow.

Since you have come this far I shall assume that one of your wishes in Christian dating is to find and build a robust romance with the lover of your dreams.

We all have a “subordinate” wish list of what characteristics, qualities, and appearances our new Christian mate should possess. You may not have thought of your desire for a mate as a wish, but it surely is, and you may not have considered the list of traits which you are seeking a wish list, but it is.

“If you don’t have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true?”-South Pacific

Typically as we get older life and it’s many demands tend to beat us down and steal our dreams. One by one they fade and die as the years pass. As a result we begin to lose heart and the hope which those bright anticipations of yesteryear gave. Are you one who has had dreams burst as though you were trying to tattoo soap bubbles? Have you lost heart? Most of us have to one degree or another.

“Faint heart never won fair lady” - Shakespeare

The point of the above (in the broad sense) is that faint heart never realized it’s dreams. Whether you are a Christian man or a woman your fair lady (dreams) may only be attained by the strength and vitality of your dreams. The seat of our dreams is within the heart. If your heart is not in it then your dreams will most likely never be realized.

Christian singles have you given up on your dreams? Is your heart in it, or have you been listening to the world and it’s nay sayers which seem to drone on that you cannot have your dreams. Have you lost hope and now feel the private distress which every man feels? Let’s apply some CPR stat!

First let us prep. Allow me to shift gears. Christian singles, I would like to address a topic which deserves careful notice. The genuine wishes of the heart should not be confused with the fantasies of the flesh. The first will lead to happiness and fulfillment and the last to destruction and emptiness as we shall see ahead.

We all, Christian men and women share the same basic “virtuous” desires. Men and women may differ slightly on some points, but they are all universal. They are; Love, family, wealth, knowledge, happiness, satisfaction, security, friendship, popularity, health, long life, relief, and comfort. The above are the more noble and spiritual desires of the heart. As Christian singles we will want to focus on these.

Advertisers have long recognized these desires and for the most part targeted their ads at appealing to the more noble aspects of the human heart. Unfortunately advertisers have increasingly shifted the aim of their ads at appealing to the baser desires such as; lust, greed, power, vanity, and pride. All of the aforementioned being selfishly based. As the self theme becomes more and more pervasive in our culture the ads will increasingly target the baser desires. They are of the highest impulse for consumers.

Modern advertisers and sellers make trillions in sales every year globally. The psychology of sales is not murky or without fantastic success unlike it’s cousin behavioral psychology. In the field of sales, psychology is an overachiever. Let’s take a look at some of the highly instructive buyer-seller dynamics known to but only a few.

The high impulse base desires which advertisers exploit are all compulsive and addictive in their very nature. Sellers are aware that if they can get you on their perverted treadmill there is a very good chance that they can keep you there. Once the compulsion begins it is very difficult to stop. Here is the first bit of psychology which the peddlers do not want you to know Christian singles.

These peddlers of perversion are using the Pleasure Principle, a powerful and destructive principle virtually unknown in full by the layman. To most of the uninformed it sounds avant garde, and even chic. It is anything but avant garde or chic, it is fiendish and extremely manipulative. Christian Dating 101 aims to diminish it’s adverse effect as most Americans have been seduced by it’s powerful allure without any general awareness. Christian singles, surely you have noticed the glorification of casual sex, materialism, violence, alcohol, drugs, and ignorance in movies, on television, in today’s “music” and advertisements. These are the signs of the Pleasure Principle at work in a self centered culture.

Another sign of a self serving culture is hedonistic slogans. Have we not become a sloganeering society? Do the following examples sound familiar?

Show me the money
Sex, drugs, rock and roll

If it feels good do it
Party on dude!

Go for the gusto
Supersize me!

Of course Christian singles there are many more, you could probably come up with a few of your own without giving it much thought.

The dangerous invasions of hedonism in popular culture have taken a heavy toll. Never in history has drug abuse, violence, unmarried pregnancies obesity and personal debt (due to materialism) been so high.

The Pleasure Principle in short goes like this: Give the first dose of pleasure, get them hooked, after the fix has worn off there will be a vacuum and thus a demand for more. But, as you Christian singles already know the flesh is not content for long at this dosage and will eventually require more as the addiction to pleasure progresses. Before long you have junkies seeking higher highs chasing that initial rush which will never be filled. The pleasure fades and desire increases. The addiction becomes ever more ravenous and more extreme measures are taken to achieve fulfillment.

Those on the treadmill of the Pleasure Principle demand change from their leaders, the old ways are despised because they threaten the pleasure fix which a large portion of the public demands. They demand their pornography, materialism, drugs, unmarried sex, and government safety net. Christian singles, awareness of the above facts is a must if you are to ever have a truly healthy Christian dating experience.

Christian singles, have you ever noticed that the slogans for democratic politicians almost always promise change? Bill Clinton used change in his election bid as did John Kerry and Barack Obama. Another code word for change used today is progressive. The progressives offer a promise that change is on the way. Christian singles what does change mean? What they really mean is that they will fight for your right to party. Tragically for many the Pleasure Principle will ultimately end in emptiness and destruction.

It is very much like the method used by the Eskimos to kill a wolf. The Eskimo’s take a very sharp knife and dip it into a bucket of blood. They take it out and allow it to freeze to the blade. This process is repeated numerous times until the blade is surrounded by a block of frozen blood. Then, they bury the knife in the snow with the blade up and the block of blood exposed to tempt the wolf. Upon catching the scent of the blood the wolf quickly makes his way over and begins licking the block. The more the wolf licks the bloody block the more blood is yielded and eventually the wolf becomes so ravenous in his blood lust that it doesn’t realize that it’s own tongue has been slashed off and it is gorging on it’s own blood. Soon the wolf dies of shock and blood loss gorged mostly on it’s own blood.

Like the wolf in the story above many of us, Christian singles included have become ravenous in our hedonistic extravagances and have had to file for divorce, declare bankruptcy, check into some abuse program, or even worse commit suicide. This all due to the fiendish exploiters behind the Pleasure Principle.

Unfortunately modern psychology has done too little too late to counter the devastating effects of the Pleasure Principle. Sure, they have clinics for those of us who fall prey, but this is like putting an ambulance at the bottom of a cliff. If they really wanted to “help” us wouldn’t they put a fence at the top of the cliff instead of an ambulance below? In many cases the ambulance below is of no use, the patient is DOA. Christian dating101 seeks to put up a fence before we reach the edge of the Pleasure Principle cliff.

The very rich like the “Material Girl” Madonna were given a very large block off of which to lick, and their demise will come later than sooner. There is therefore this illusion to the rest of us in the pack that it is ok to lick the block set out by the ad-man. The problem is that Madonna’s block is so thick it may last her nearly a lifetime, our blocks will not be so thick, we will reach the blade sooner than later. Christian singles, don’t be deceived, the Pleasure Principle will destroy everyone eventually.

Christian singles have you noticed that through the media’s indoctrination in the Pleasure Principle we have learned to substitute love for lust, prosperity for greed, and happiness for temporary ravenous fixes? It is time to get off the pop culture peddler’s treadmill and replace the baser motives and desires with the more noble dreams of the heart which do bring satisfaction. And, in so doing restore the lost heart and win fair lady.

Below are three poster-boys of the pleasure principle. Lookin’ for love in old disco’s. Looks like they could use Christian dating 101!

Christian singles, let’s get back to wishes. You probably know the words from the old Disney song that goes: “A dream is a wish your heart makes.” Did you notice that the words say that the heart is the wish maker? I know, some of you are probably saying to yourselves that this is silly the heart cannot think, not literally. Well, maybe you are right the heart does not think in the same fashion as the brain, but it does feel. Did you know that the heart is tied to the mind? Yes, there is a parasympathetic nervous response system which is responsible for causing those heart felt feelings that we all experience throughout life.

Do you recall ever having a crush on someone in school? I did. In sixth grade I had a crush on a very cute young gal named Desiree. It seemed that she was the reason I went to school that year.

Every morning I would rush to class to get there early and be seated just so I could see her walk in and hoped that she would sit close to me. In anticipation of seeing her my heart beat crazy I wanted to see her so badly. Then when she finally arrived, upon seeing her I felt this strange warmth, and exhilaration mixed with relief knowing that she had made it to class and I would not be alone that day. I was always one of the last to leave class because I wanted to watch her leave. It would probably be the last time I would see her during the day as we shared no more classes together. During class I soaked it all up and stole glances when she wasn’t looking. I studied her as though she was a beautiful creature from another world not mine. Girls were a mystery to me and I could not understand the profound effect she had upon me, but

“The heart has reasons that reason does not understand.”-Jacques Bossuel
On the occasional day that she did not make it to school my heart just fell to the floor and my whole day was ruined, but I still had tomorrow to look forward to. My heart seemed to be ruled by this stranger who barely knew my name. I was too young to know what to do with my feelings for her. At night lying awake in bed my thoughts centered around her, my untrained heart fixated upon it’s fancy. My brain did not know enough about girls yet to have an opinion, much less a deep yearning, but Christian singles somehow my heart did.

Continue to Christian Dating 101 Part 2